Rain

Rain and tears have come to mean the something to me. Rain is cooling, refreshing, life giving and strength building. Tears, when finished being shed are life giving, refreshing, and strength giving. One waters our souls and one waters our land. Both will bring about new life and newness to weary life.

I am in a time of tears. Not sorrowful tears or hurtful tears. My tears are tears of healing, love and strength. This journey I have stepped out into with God is just life giving. A friend told me a few weeks ago I needed to cry. To let tears fall. I could not cry, even though I tried to force them out.

Then at my discipleship group we received news of a dear church family member passing and the tears started. I did stop them but God said, No, it is time to heal. Holy Spirit filled my body from head to toe and I was in His presence at such peace. My heart cried out all the hurts, joys, worries and pain for a good long time. Holy Spirit’s presence was so strong that I feel to my knees with my face in the floor.

As I was kneeling on the floor God spoke to me and said I was alright. All the words I have had for others that I never truly believed, till the last few weeks, God began to spoke to me telling me I am those same things. Capable, strong, wise, worthy, His child, fearfully and wonderfully made. 

As He spoke these words over me so much stress, worry, uncertainty began to fall off. A peace, strength and understanding began to envelope me in a soothing way. I has to stand up in stages. I went from the floor to the couch sitting then laying on the couch. I napped in glory on that couch. I was there but not there.

Today, is a new day. A day that tears have still flowed but they are tears of peace, thankfulness and a joy that really truly suppresses all of my understanding. I am choosing to continue to say Here I am and walk out a glorious adventure God has set upon with me.